In baseball's wacky system, there's no joy in Draftville

It's not a draft. It's a prank.

Really now, what other shenanigans can claim to be as cruel and irritating as waiting for finality to the Major League Baseball draft process? It's a journey littered with banana peels, whoopee cushions and pies to the face.

When one door opens, there's always a bucket of water looming overhead. When your favorite team and your future franchise player sit at the negotiating table, there's probably glue in their chairs. When making a deal seems as simple as a frank conversation and a handshake, there's a strong possibility someone will extend a fake hand.

It's not funny. It's ludicrous.

Monday served as the latest reminder, with the Mariners and their faithful sweating through the ridiculousness. Remember Dustin Ackley, the next (place your favorite lefty Hall of Fame hitter here)? The No. 2 overall pick two months ago? The great hope to soften the pain of 101 losses in 2008? The Mariners came within minutes of losing him.

On June 9, the Mariners celebrated the drafting of Ackley, a cornerstone of their rebuilding plan. But the selection was merely a tease. It only triggered a complex, peculiar and largely lawless negotiating process.

There are many things wrong with the MLB draft, such as the exclusion of international players, but we experienced the most excruciating part Monday. It was Spend Or Go Home Day. It was the deadline to sign an underclassman or lose him to the flawed system.

Fortunately, the Mariners won this game. Ackley signed a five-year deal and got about $9.5 million to do so. But the deal didn't get done until about 15 minutes before the deadline, so the appropriate reaction was to exhale instead of shout for joy.

The draft shouldn't be a perilous mission to retain a player who's never worn your jersey. The ability to sign a draft pick shouldn't be mostly about an agent's level of shrewdness, either. The MLB draft is too much of a free-for-all, lacking a rookie wage scale like the NBA has and the leverage that NFL teams possess to ensure a deal is eventually consummated.

Instead, we are exposed to mass stress. Ackley practically signed just before the 27th out. No. 1 pick Stephen Strasburg, whose pitching talent has become so hyperbolic you'd think he has a 1,000 mph changeup, narrowly avoided providing the Washington Nationals with another public humiliation. On Spend Or Go Home Day, super agent Scott Boras, whose clients include the 2009 draft's first three picks, loomed as the most prominent figure, which is never a fun thing.

It's easy to paint Boras as the villain. But while his negotiating tactics are an issue, he's smart to try to exploit the system. The MLB recommends salary slotting for its draft picks, but there is no rule to enforce those recommendations. So it's up to the team and the agent to decide what is truly fair.

So we're left with madness. But Ackley's desire to play professional baseball and the Mariners' need to complete this deal took over at the end. It was especially critical for the Mariners because Mariners general manager Jack Zduriencik wants to rebuild in the traditional manner, by drafting good players and replenishing the farm system. Zduriencik risked having his first public-relations disaster. Typical of Zduriencik's first year, however, all worked out in the Mariners' favor.

It helps that the Mariners ownership spends money. Zduriencik can continue to draft based on talent, not affordability. Other teams subscribe to a safer philosophy. In June, Pittsburgh took Boston College catcher Jorge Sanchez with the No. 4 overall pick, even though there were better pure talents, because the Pirates didn't have to pay Sanchez a huge signing bonus. Such a tactic defies the meaning of a draft.

The primary purpose of a draft is to help the worst teams get better. In this system, however, the worst teams don't always get the best players because they're afraid to spend the money. The draft has turned into yet another way that baseball keeps the little guy down. Sometimes, it keeps the cheap guy down, but in that case, there is no sympathy.

It's an unfortunate situation. And we haven't even gotten into the field time the players lose.

For once, the NBA, the messed-up league that allowed us to lose the Sonics, has the proper business approach. The NFL and MLB need a strict rookie wage scale. It must be put into their next collective-bargaining agreements.

Otherwise, we're stuck with Spend Or Go Home Day. Draft a player, and two months later, you're thrown a curveball. Even when it works out, the process is about as fun as being on the receiving end of a spitball.

Jerry Brewer: 206-464-2277 or jbrewer@seattletimes.com, Twitter: @Jerry_Brewer