Tenor of words equals level of play

In an inbox that illustrates our futile local sports scene with titles such as "Shipwrecked Mariners" and "fire the manager" and "Oklahoma SuperSooners" I found a wickedly funny e-mail Tuesday.

It was about my negative commentaries on the negative news. The creativity of it caught my attention. It began like this:

Down at my local sports bar, a guy sitting a few stools down said, "Hey, where's the accountability for a total lack of humane tolerance for human error and misfortune, even when multiplied by nine? If the Mariners turn it around, and they could, this guy will be crowing their unqualified praises."

Then, with menacing language, the e-mailer provided a twist.

The barista said, "If we take Brewer down to the desert sun and bury him up to his neck and put some honey on his face and cellphone all the red ants in town, maybe he'll come home a nicer man. Maybe he'll have more consideration for the oppressed."

And then came my favorite paragraph.

I said, "No, he's a sportswriter, and sportswriters love continued defeat even more than they do eventual victory. They can secretly vent all their childhood issues."

I won't print the rest of the story because it contains a few words inappropriate for the Little Leaguers out there. But I will tell you the story goes on to talk about sportswriter neurosis and incompetence. Then everyone in the bar nods in agreement, and the customers order another round.

At the end, the e-mailer wrote "Kiddin'." But with Seattle currently residing in the pits of the sports world, there's a really good message to offer in response to that sharp, playful tale.

Let's talk about negativity.

There's a great gap between perception and reality on that subject. To put it simply, most sportswriters aren't predisposed to highlighting the bad. We are critical thinkers who analyze the news, and in general, our tone in stories and columns is a reflection of a team's performance.

We like good news, too. We like writing about winning. The players are friendlier. The stories have more personality. But when bad things happen to good athletes, we don't ignore the train wreck.

After I finished writing a column Monday about the Mariners' lack of accountability, one of many harsh columns so far this season, I thought to myself, "Man, that was a rip. People are going to think the Mariners did something really bad to me, like kidnap my notepad."

I'm far more self-critical about negative columns. I want to make sure my gripe is legitimate. I want to make sure I've covered all the bases and left room for fairness. I also feel a level of guilt, particularly if the subject is a good person struggling to perform, because innocent family members and friends will read my unkind words.

But as a sports columnist, I'm in the business of giving opinions. In some cases, compassion must be left in the computer bag. Over the past few months, there has been little room for compassion.

Look at the local pro sports scene first. The Mariners have flopped. The relocation-obsessed Sonics owners have created a franchise burdened by poor play, questionable business practices and badly veiled agendas. And the Seahawks, by far the most dependable Seattle franchise, have suffered a couple embarrassing arrests the past few months. Only the Storm has managed to create some excitement.

The two most-followed colleges in this area, Washington and Washington State, haven't done much, either. The Cougars went to the Sweet 16 in men's basketball, but the football program just lost eight scholarships because of academic negligence. The Huskies had losing seasons in both football and basketball. Debate over Tyrone Willingham's job status has divided the fan base. The upcoming football season figures to be one of the most tense in school history.

Even worse, the bad news could extend into the summer. There's nothing worse in baseball than to have a team fall out of contention in May. If the Mariners don't improve, we're in for some boring summer days. And if that's not bad enough, the Sonics could be on their way to Oklahoma in late June.

With the forecast looking so dim, I'd love to be wrong and crowing unqualified praises.

This isn't about childhood issues. It's about competitive issues.

We're only as good as the teams we cover.

Two weeks ago, I had a contentious conversation with Richie Sexson. He thought I was targeting him unfairly. He gave me the typical line that anyone upset with a story or column gives: "You think you can sell more newspapers writing that?"

Well, seeing as how my column doesn't run on Page A1, I don't think we're selling too many single copies because I ripped Sexson on a random Sunday.

Then again, I was at Sully's on Queen Anne recently, and the bartender tried to persuade me to call Sexson "Three-Pitch Rich" because of his impatience at the plate.

If the bad news keeps coming, at least there's one bar I can visit without fear of being buried with honey and red ants.

Jerry Brewer: 206-464-2277 or jbrewer@seattletimes.com. For more columns and the Extra Points blog, visit seattletimes.com/sports