Super Bowl XLII will be overdone before kickoff

By the time this fortnight ends, Super Bowl XLII won't even be considered a game. Hype will surely deflate this pigskin.

Between now and Feb. 3, we will need to study the Bible (David vs. Goliath, anyone?), the book "Art of War" (Bill Belichick's guide to domination) and plenty of tabloid newspapers (just in case Tom Brady finds a new celebrity girlfriend).

We will need to review the Manning family genealogy one more time. We will need to interview every member of the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

And by game time, we will need a break.

If New England lives up to its superiority, that's just what Super Bowl XLII will be: the most talk ever for the biggest game of nothing, with a little history on the side.

Before the NFC and AFC championship games were decided, New York Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce was already anticipating this story line.

"We'll probably be the biggest underdogs in Super Bowl history if we win," Pierce said in The New York Daily News the day before the Giants beat Green Bay to advance to the mismatch of the year. "But that's OK. We've come to terms with it. In the 2007 season, that's what we've dealt with. We've been called the underdog overachievers.

"Well, if that's what they want to call us, that's fine. But I've got a lot of calls on my phone congratulating me for moving on, from people in the National Football League that are watching us now."

Pierce provided a nice, macho sound bite, but is anyone listening? One day into the hype, the Patriots are nearly a two-touchdown favorite.

Even more so than in recent Super Bowls, the trimmings figure to be more intriguing than the actual event. The Patriots, with Darth Belichick leading them, seemed destined to complete the second undefeated season in NFL history. Doing so would also make them the most impressive team ever because a 19-0 Pats team trumps the 17-0 Dolphins.

Randy Moss, football royalty? How about that?

Where's Joe Namath when you need him?

In Super Bowl III, Namath orchestrated the Big Game's most famous upset. Lounging in Miami days before the show, Namath guaranteed his Jets would beat the Baltimore Colts. Then he backed up his words, besting coach Don Shula's mighty Colts. Thus began the legend of Broadway Joe.

Not sure if Off-Broadway Eli can pull off a similar feat, however. The Other Manning is a great talent, a former No. 1 pick, and he deserves much credit for eschewing criticism and leading the Giants this far. But he's not yet good enough to outperform Brady, the Joe Montana of the 21st century.

So the Giants' hopes hinge on their pass rush, the best in the NFL. If they manage to pressure Brady, perhaps they can junk up the game. If they can't, Brady and the Patriots receivers will punish New York's injury-burdened secondary.

The teams met in the regular-season finale, and the Giants only sacked Brady once. The result: 356 passing yards from Brady and 38 New England points. Playing only for pride, New York was impressive on that day and kept the game close before losing 38-35. It provides hope that this will be a decent game, but it's still hard to see the Patriots losing to the NFC's No. 5 seed with history at stake.

Even ardent Patriots haters would have a difficult time arguing against their destiny. Only a disastrous distraction or some unforeseen misfortune could stop this team.

With two weeks to hype this game, considerable time can be spent in "What could go wrong?" mode. Perhaps news surfaces that Belichick ordered the hits that injured San Diego's star players. Or Moss could lose what's left of his mind on the grandest stage of his career. Or Britney could announce that she's having Brady's baby.

Something. Anything.

Nothing, actually.

We're left to nitpick this game, hoping we see things that aren't there.

Eli could outdo his big brother, Peyton. Or not.

The Giants could call on the ghosts of their illustrious past and pull off a shocker. Or not.

Brady could be human. Or not.

Karma could finally discipline the Patriots for Spygate. Or not.

Armageddon could arrive before Super Bowl XLII begins. Well, after we endure two weeks of talk about perfection and genius and underdogs, we'll probably be just fine with this possibility.

Jerry Brewer: 206-464-2277 or jbrewer@seattletimes.com. For more columns and the Extra Points blog, visit seattletimes.com/sports