"#&!@%&*!!" That's not Romar talking

I swear, Lorenzo Romar is a different species of coach.

When he earned his first head-coaching gig in 1996, a colleague wondered how he'd survive. Not because the job was above Romar's talent. Because cursing was beneath him.

"How are you going to do it without cussin' everybody out?" the colleague asked.

"I don't know," Romar replied, "but that's not what I'm going to do."

So with a clean mouth, Romar prospered. The basketball coach traveled from Pepperdine to Saint Louis to Washington, improving his profile with each stop. Now he has a winner's stature to go with his gentlemanly demeanor.

A lot of coaches could learn from him. In fact, a lot of coaches must learn from him now. The NCAA wants to police the potty mouths of college basketball this season and make coaches act like they belong in their tailored suits.

It's revolutionary stuff — isn't it? — making these so-called educators teach by example. So no more harassing the refs with phrases from the Bob Knight lexicon. No more allowing coaches to venture well onto the court to shout instructions. Violators are supposed to be whistled for technical fouls without warning.

For years, officials have let coaches turn the sideline into a Quentin Tarantino flick. Now they're going to make it G-rated, darn it.

Asked how this policy would affect him, Romar said: "Me? I don't see how I'd have a problem with it."

He's not different anymore. I swear, he's the standard.

At times, Romar has been considered too nice. It's an overwrought characterization because he's plenty strict and very much a disciplinarian. But he's found a way to succeed that generally doesn't involve foul language.

"Whether I'm in a car accident, whether I'm on the basketball floor, whether I'm in church or whether I'm at a boxing match, I would think my language is the same," Romar said. "So I try not to use profanity. It doesn't matter the situation. That's what I am about."

Romar doesn't want to sound self-righteous, however. This is just his way. It works. He's familiar with the crude methods that his counterparts use, and those work, too.

Knight has just about turned cursing into a greeting. The polished Rick Pitino almost makes profanity seem sophisticated. Mike Krzyzewski can go from bleeping to sobbing in 3.4 seconds.

They're all winners, champions, among the best in their profession. But the NCAA would rather not mortify lip-readers watching on television. It would rather not have parents covering the ears of children while seated behind the benches.

Naturally, this policy will be slanted more toward referee-bashing, but it's conceivable coaches will get T'd for inappropriately snarling at their players, too.

Somehow, cursing became a great motivator in sports.

It's instruction by intimidation. There are probably stats somewhere that show athletes run faster, jump higher and execute better when they're trying to avoid flying expletives.

"We laugh about that," Romar said. "Someone said that sometimes 'Get your behind down the floor' doesn't have the same effect. For whatever reason, it's just not the same."

Except for Romar.

"I really believe I don't have to change who I am in any situation," he said. "I don't have to go on a profane tirade to get someone's attention. If that's the only way I can get someone's attention, maybe I'm a little limited in my methods. I would like to think that I'm creative enough to get your attention without having to cuss you out."

By the end of this interview, I was self-editing my remarks. During one of my questions, I uttered the phrase "bleepin' bleep" instead of using the words I wanted to bleepin' use.

Romar has that effect. He makes you want to stand up straight. He knows how to disagree without belittling. He can be stern and mild-mannered at once. He possesses a rare and magnetic inner strength.

In the past, he's been nagged for the Mr. Nice Guy approach. Now that's the required approach.

"I've been criticized. I've heard people say, 'Why don't you get on the refs more?' " Romar said. "And I think sometimes there are coaches who people would say, 'Well, he won the game because he intimidated that guy.' "

It's one of the biggest urban legends in sports, Romar says. All winners are intimidating. But winning doesn't have to begin with intimidation.

Romar has proven that during his career, especially during his time in Washington. After an off year last season, his task is to return the Huskies to the NCAA tournament.

He has some new rules to follow, but I swear, he was already in compliance.

Jerry Brewer: 206-464-2277 or jbrewer@seattletimes.com. For his Extra Points blog, visit seattletimes.com/sports.