Ellen on 'American Idol': More memorable lines than Paula ever had

I've always enjoyed Ellen DeGeneres. Her humor is more in the vein of Bill Cosby than Eddie Murphy. Her dry humor is never mean spirited. So I'm not surprised that her first few weeks on Idol have been more Paula Abdul than Simon Cowell. Only without the appearance of being under the influence.

A quick survey of friends who admit to watching "American Idol," indicates a strong preference for Ellen over Paula. I am at a loss to remember anything that Paula ever said. I do remember shaking my head at the disjointed nonsense that came tumbling out of her mouth. Whereas with Ellen, I already have a top-10 list of (paraphrased) sayings:

"You're like an unripe banana." This was followed by references to being put in a paper bag to ripen and to becoming a mushy banana. Somehow this was a good thing? Please note, this counts for three spots on the list. It's my list, I can count however I want.

"Don't go to the Grand Canyon." For the singer who takes it right to the edge. Whether it's a particular note or the mic stand on the big Kodak stage, I'm not completely sure.

"Women like me ... blondes." Just in case you aren't a Casey James fan either.

"It's like a hospital gown, where you can only get close." For any singer whose performance doesn't quite make the grade. Or who needs another appointment with the Idol stylist.

"Kids, remember that, no one should think." Because nothing's worse than a singer who actually thinks about the performance.

"You made 'fire' a two-syllable word." Unlike Lacey Brown's "stillI'mgonnamissyou" slurred lyric.

"Are you doing your hair like mine now?" Or is it just that Haeley Vaughn took all the hair ribbons and flowers home with her?

"You should put some shoes on, Hollywood is a disgusting town." Yeah, sorry, no come back there, I completely agree.