'American Idol's' dirty dozen upsets, and it's all your fault!

Whether you are calling in for undeserving contestants or are just too ambivalent to pick up the phone, some of our most recent departures just don't make sense.

For those who still have Idol in the TiVo queue, a word of warning: I'm naming names. My dear husband watched the east coast version while I hung out for the west coast show. He promptly managed to wreck it for me on one cast off before I could even get the TiVo started. I kicked him in the shins at the first spoiler, and when he did it again, I banished him to a whole nother part of the house. Please note my restraint - I never once threw the remote at his head. :)

Ready? Name #1 Katelyn Epperly. How the heck does Paige Miles advance and Katelyn is the one sent home? This is really gonna mess with Pat's Power Rankings. I will agree that Katelyn's most recent song sucked, but she's been consistently good throughout this competition. That is NOT something that can be said for Paige. Paige has been nothing but a bore since she landed in Hollywood. And since I'm officially cranky with the Idol voting public, can I mock that ridiculous outfit Paige was wearing? Yeah? No? Okay, I'll leave it alone for now, but seriously, could someone PLEASE take this kid shopping? You're in L.A. for pete's sake.

Poor Alex Lambert takes his departure hard, as he should. But really, once you're paired up with Andrew Garcia, it's pretty evident which guy is going home. I blame the mullet. Yeah, I said it.

But now here's where I get to argue with all the people that hammer me for being shallow and making fun of people for the way the look. It's obvious that this competition is about FAR more than the quality of a contestant's voice. It's about likability. That is why Katie Stevens gets to stay a little longer and Lilly Scott goes home. While Lilly's song blew, Katie's was far worse. But the singing doesn't matter because Lilly's hideous hair, terrible tights and boring personality cannot compete with Katie's endearing, adorable youth. It's not just me that's shallow and judgmental, it's America!

In another shocker, Todrick Hall gets the boot. While I haven't always been a big Todrick fan, his rendition of Queen's "Somebody to Love" was pretty darn good. Because I have a secret tween crush on Tim Urban, I'm not heartbroken over this decision. But if I'm going to hold myself to the same criteria of season long consistency, Tim should be on a jet plane right about now. But of course, votes aren't always made on quality and ability, they are made on what? LIKABILITY.

With the exception of Alex Lambert, all the tears are starting to get on my nerves. Did the girls drink what Kara DioGuardi had on Wednesday? Are they all on paula pills? (it's just a joke, kids. i don't mean that literally)

In case you're wondering, there is no one safe from my ridicule. Who was directing this show? Did you notice the crappy cutaway of piano keys before Ryan Seacrest pitched to the duet between Matt Giraud and Scott MacIntyre? Ouch. And then when we said goodbye to Alex Lambert, they didn't have the volume up on his microphone until halfway through his interview with Ryan. I'm just sayin', for being the highest rated show on television those kind of mistakes are not OK, even if the show is live. Maybe TVdirector extraordinaire/fellow AI blogger Patrick Brown can weigh in on my complaints.

Oh, and about Matt & Scott singing "Tell Her About It..." well, Billy Joel & Elton John they are not. That is all.