Who's going home tonight on the first "American Idol" results show of Season 9? Find out, right after the break....

Or actually about eight 4-minute long breaks.

I know you are just like me and you can't wait to see an action-packed, suspense-filled one-hour edition of "American Idol" tonight. I mean, who hasn't been counting the days, waiting to see how the producers parade around the contestants on stage like the Mickey Mouse Club, forcing them to do choreographed, corny chaos.

I think I am going to watch some curling and paint dry from 8:00-8:54 p.m. then fast-forward the DVR to see if I said farewell to the proper four singers.

Here's how I see things after the guys strutted their stuff on stage last night.

Mossy's Three Kings:

#1 Casey "Take Off Your Clothes" James
Song: "Heaven" by Bryan Adams

Turns out he's dreamy and his voice is heavenly. James just might be moving up the list to threaten everyone's prediction that a female will win this time around. Maybe all those prognosticators will change their statement to say they meant someone with long hair will win.

Kara DioGuardi's future husband (current one is Mike McCuddy) continues to grow on me. It's too bad that Randy "Dawg" Jackson and Kara jumped into a clown car during the beginning of his song. You just know Casey was trying to seduce America with a serious, somber-toned start without smiling, but the two rude clowns prevented that intimate connection.

#2 Andrew "Gokey" Garcia
Song: "Sugar, We're Goin Down" by Fall Out Boy

Yes, it wasn't his best, but let's not forget the originality Garcia continues to bring to each song he does. Not every risk is gonna bring the roof down. I enjoyed this flip, as you'll see later in The Mossy Index, I dropped him some points in song choice, but not in execution. The judges will never admit this, but there is strategy involved in this competition. You can't bring your "A" material right off the bat when you have posers like Urban, Kelly, Grady, and Muñoz in the Top 12 with you. Those tools will be home before you need to kick it up a notch. My man is slow playing right now until it's time to show the nuts. Hmmmm... could he know more about poker than I thought and this is his silhouette? Click here.

#3 Todrick "Diff'rent Strokes" Hall
Song: "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson

Some of the Idol Confessions readers made remarks about my insane backing of Haeley Vaughn's performance last night. Well, I'm sure today's hot button will be my third favorite male performance which is Hall. He came out and got the night energized like any opening act should do. Probably as good as Ellen warming up the audience for Oprah.

I really enjoyed the way he reassembled Kelly Clarkson's hit. Yes, it didn't end up sounding like it, but who cares? It was full of funk, and his stage presence was off the hook. Next week will be the biggest week in Todrick's life because he will need to come out with a no frills melody to prove he's not on Dancing With The Seacrest.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya:

Well actually, I wouldn't mind being in ya shoes despite these predictions. The first boy going home tonight was a no-brainer pick for me, while the other slot was a tougher choice.

Pack your bags #1
Tim "Play-in Contestant" Urban
Song: "Apologize" by OneRepublic

This one was off the YIKES chart. Tiny Tim got swallowed by the AI spotlight. His alternate call-back story reminded me of the first-ever winner of the NCAA Tournament Play-In game back in 2001 when Northwestern State won a chance to be the 64th seed in the tourney only to go on and get embarrassed by Illinois by 42 points.

BTW, did they need to fake the Executive Producer phone call they dropped into Urban's feature? It should have been accompanied by a cheesy "reenactment" graphic.

Pack your bags #2
John Park "Twain"
Song: "God Bless The Child" by Billie Holiday

I admit this was a tough one to call because Alex "Unripe Banana" Lambert also deserves to be on the hot seat as well. But it's the rotten-banana performance put on by Park that swayed my decision. It's as if he had never heard the two most overused words in the "American Idol" dictionary. Song choice is what is sending Mr. Shania Twain back to Illinois to rejoin his college group Purple Haze.

The Mossy Index (the way I score it):

Top 12 Men

For comparison, here's a look back at how I scored the women from Tuesday night.

Top 12 Women

So to recap, Tim Urban and John Park can split the cab fair to LAX four ways with Lacey Brown and Paige Miles tonight.

The Mossy Index has these five performers scoring the most points after their first LIVE performances... Crystal Bowersox 45; Siobhan Magnus 43; Casey James 42; Michelle Delamor 42; Andrew Garcia 36.

Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them...

Her favorite performances in order from last night...

1 - Casey James
2 - Aaron Kelly
3 - Lee Dewyze

Momma also says "see ya later alligators" to Alex Lambert and John Park.

So now that we've seen and heard the Top 24, Mom is giving the edge to Crystal Bowersox to become your next "American Idol". Each week she will listen to see if someone can knock her King Idol off the hill.

New Math:

"Pitchy" counter Wednesday night = 4
"Boo/Hiss Simon" counter Wednesday night = 9

In Closing:

• Why is this season off to such a sloppy start with the judges and producer? No one seems to know who's supposed to speak first when it's judgment time. Hey FOX, I know a Producer who's seeking work and could help get that little bug worked out. Text me when the lines open at the end of the show ... at 1-866-MOSSY-TV.

• A little advice for Tyler "Morrison-Jagger-Plant" Grady before you head out to the mall in a quest to bring your wardrobe 40 years into the now, don't take Simon Cowell with you. What was up with that shirt?

• As soon as I thought Jermaine "Bus Roadkill" Sellers got over the "throw the band under the bus" incident, he comes out admitting he and the Associate Musical Director have made up, then doesn't know who "Michael" is??? Oh man Jermaine is not helping himself in the public opinion polls.

• Do you enjoy, as much as me, the cutaway camera shots of the parents that the director takes when Simon is bagging on their children? They need to put a heart-rate meter graphic on Mom & Dad so we can see their blood pressure rise in disgust of Simon.

• Speaking of production elements, FOX needs to throw a few "K" at some better sound monitors on stage for the performers, because some of them surely can't hear how out of key they are at times. Oh, and I am willing to wager (two shirt buttons) that on tonight's AI results show, Simon will admit after hearing the show back that he was a bit tone deaf because Lee Dewyze was very "pitchy" when he kicked into the bridge of Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars."

• Finally, I leave you this morning with the way "Apologize" should be done when you have "star power." I realize it's not a completely fair way to compare how Tim Urban torched the song last night, because he didn't have the accompaniment of Ryan Tedder from OneRepublic by his side. This clip of David Archuleta from Season 7 also shows how weak the band is sounding right now in Season 9. Just call me Todd "Sellers the Band Under The Bus" Mossburg.

Enjoy this goose bump rendition. Until next time let your boogie out. Later days.