Masochists rejoice: It's Hollywood week on 'American Idol'

Ahead of us is "Hollywood Week" on "American Idol." Hollywood is known as a place where dreams come true — but not this week for a majority of the Idol hopefuls.

Around 170 or so golden tickets were given out, but only 24 make it through to the live shows. Thus, if my rusty math is right, over 140 shattered egos will wander back to their lives. Basically, the whole week is a textbook example on how to torture a large group of people.

Idol has messed around with the format over the years, so I'm a little hazy as to what will happen. I think that last year they ditched the mass annihilation part where they sorted them into two rooms. One room keeps going through the week and the other is summarily axed. Too bad, because that was my favorite part of the week — seeing the contestants' faces when they saw who else was sitting next to them and the shock of realization that they are in the wrong room. "Wait, she can't sing. Why is she in the same room as me. Oh...."

Regardless, they likely still kept the part of the week where everyone is split into groups and forced to sing together in harmony. This is almost too cruel as everyone stays up all night, then finds out that the other singers in their group either hate them or ditched them for another group. During the performance, each person is trying to out-sing the others and "accidentally" mess up the song when their "teammates" are soloing.

Of course, we will have the final day where the judges continue inflicting pain on the broken singers as they make them squirm in an uncomfortable chair while their fate is slowly revealed to them. Simon particularly likes to draw this part out, like a cat toying with a gutted mouse. "I'm sorry ... but you've got live with us a little longer. You're on to the next round." Only in Hollywood can someone be so cruel and still have thousands of people wanting to be similarly tortured by him year after year.