The happiest place on Earth? ... Apparently in front of the goofy 'American Idol' judges in Orlando

Perhaps it was the fact that the boys, Simon “Hideous” Cowell, Randy “Dawg” Jackson and Ryan “Pretty Boy” Seacrest let their boogie out in Miami the night before or maybe there were a few extra Mickey Mouse Ear helium balloons floating around at the Amway Arena in Orlando. It just felt like we saw a handful of wannabe "American Idols" get a golden gift from the judges.

The bar was a little lower than normal in my eyes and ears. I took a few shots at the “Windy City” Tuesday, but now I think they could have found four better singers there instead of in the Mouse’s House of O-town.

Highlights:

• A hungover Simon who had a LOL line, “you walked in like a cocktail stick.”

• For our male readers, was it me or did Kara DioGuardi look amazing last night?!?!

• As for the talented ones. Let’s start with the best of the best. Twenty-five-year-old Matt Lawrence seemed much more mature than his age which should do him well in this competition. His looks reminded me of Michael Sarver from last season, but the difference is that Matt’s voice is off the charts. So pure. So refined. I want to phone in a song choice request. I would like to hear Matt sing “Daughters” by John Mayer, or even a new twist to the classic “Piano Man” by Billy Joel. (Wait did I just come up with the next 1-900 money-making texting machine for FOX? Phone a song? If so, send those royalties to Snoqualmie please!) Kara said Matt is gonna make it into the Male Top 12. I think I might have to agree and it’s not because I have an eye for her tonight.

• Seth Rollins, 28, who has an autistic son named Samuel. It's his last chance to try out for AI because of the age restrictions (discriminations). Sorry, if you know me, you know that I am not a fan of this rule. Back to the soft, smooth, airy Luther-Vandross-like tone that Seth was bringing. I like it. I like it a lot. I also was moved by his profile more than any of the tear-jerker stories before him this season. In fact, I needed two tissues, one when his son cried because he wanted to join dad in the audition and the second when the AI producers turned up the volume on the song accompanying the feature “...and I will try to fix you.” Classy move, production staff, and classy song by Coldplay. I love Luther Seth Rollins. I also echo what was said on the show: Seth needs some swagger when he hits the stage in Hollywood.

• Jermaine Purifoy looked like Usher and sounded like Tony Rich to me. (check out the 1996 hit “Nobody Knows” to hear what I mean) Not a bad combination for the 24-year-old. I think the judges fell in love with him, from voice to toe. I liked but did not love him. Simon complimented Jermaine on the song choice but I need to hear a few current songs to see what these pipes can do before I’m completely sold on the telecommunications student.

• Contestant #76089. I have no idea how he sounds, nor do you. Heck, I don’t even know his name but I had to back the DVR up to see if it was Frank Thomas aka “The Big Hurt.” Sorry for the baseball reference there, but if you saw him hit home runs off the Mariners pitching staff during his career, you know who I am talking about. This guy I saw is a dead ringer for him. I am gonna put him in the Male Top 12 without hearing a single note come out of his head. Put that on your rankings there Patrick Brown. (Idol Confession fans look for Sir Patrick’s list on Monday.)

Lowlights:

• Shelby Dressel. I think the Chicago shocker of just 13 golden tickets (or 12 due to Keith Semple’s exit) lightened up the judges all day. I liked her fire for an 18-year-old who has had to deal with a nerve issue on the right side of her face, but unfortunately Shelby won’t cut it in H-town.

• Jay Stone. He looked like and sweat as much as comedian Robin Williams. Sorry Blake Lewis fans, I’m not a fan of this guy at all. A wasted golden ticket in my mind. I probably won’t win any friends in Bothell when I also add that Lewis didn’t rock my world either.

• The spray-tan twins from Jorrrrrr-zee. I think I saw these two dancing in a cage at a New Jersey Bon Jovi concert. If I must choose, Bernadette (blue dress) will last one audition longer than sister Amanda (yellow dress).

• I didn’t find much glee in celeb judge Kristin Chenoweth. I hate it when I side with Simon, but she and Kara were annoying and I didn’t have the benefit of being hungover like Mr. Cowell was.

• Again, are the judges too lenient or am I being too harsh? Cornelious Edwards who “ripped it good” (love a good Devo reference) should NOT be heading to Cali. His voice didn’t say anything to me but loud and nervous. I don’t get it. Sure, I might be able to imagine Cornelious as Fritz in “The Nutcracker Ballet”, but an American Idol? Surely not! Someone get me Larry Platt’s digits, I think we may have found the General’s opening act on his tour this summer. Now don’t be distracted by the “split heard around the world” and give Edwards a real listen to hear if his vocals were worthy of a trip to Hollywood.

In closing:

I wonder just how many AI finalists form years past were caught on tape holding a ridiculous sign that read how they were the next Idol. I just can’t see Kelly Clarkson or Fantasia Barrino or David Cook in one of those crowd shots we see throughout the audition shows holding one up, can you? So, if you have talent and you have, trying out for AI on your bucket list, write that one down as “something not to do.” Act like you been there, right Andrew Fenlon? Wait, act like you been there a notch or two below the confidence of Clark Kent.

I think I figured out what the producers were blurring out of the t-shirt of opening act Theo Glinton. It was another darn palm tree! (this is only gonna make sense if you read that great story on editing tricks that made Chicago look like a tropical paradise filled with potty mouths)

Do you think the Orlando corrections facility saved a tree and just left the AI contestant tag number on Jarrod Norrell and just used the same #69852 as his mug shot ID?

My mom’s male and female picks to click - Seth Rollins & Janell Wheeler (first one featured in the 3-female montage).

“Dawg” counter = 2
“Hideous” counter = 0
“Pitchy” counter = 1
“Honey” counter = 5 (honey is the new “dawg” thanks to Kara)
“Cryers” counter = 12 (this includes two from me during Luther Seth Rollins’ audition)

Until next time, let your boogie out. Later days.