Tight wedding budget leaves some guests dateless

Q: My fiance and I are paying for most of our wedding and are on a tight budget. We'd like to invite as many people as possible, which makes it tough to invite singles with "plus ones." Is it acceptable to invite single family members and friends, but not include "and guest" on their invitations?

My fiancé says we have to allow wedding guests to bring a date out of courtesy. I don't want to eliminate people just because we're obligated to let others bring a guest. What should we do?

A: This is an age-old debate, and your fiancé has a point. It is gracious to allow single guests to bring a date so they won't feel awkward or left out. But your point is valid, too.

Deal with this problem on a case-by-case basis.

If you have unmarried friends and relatives in long-term relationships, you might want to consider inviting their partners. (Even though they're not married, they're committed.) Then, invite single friends and relatives without dates rather than crossing them off your guest list altogether.

If anyone complains, simply explain your dilemma — it was important that they be there, but that you couldn't afford to invite dates. Then, carefully consider where to seat them at the wedding; you may want to put them with other singles so they won't get stuck at a table of couples.

Who knows? Two of your guests might even make a match at your wedding!

Carley Roney, co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, advises brides on modern wedding etiquette at www.theknot.com.