Tips on seating guests, serving souffle, cleaning pillows and more

Q: How can I seat all 22 members of my family for dinner in a way that makes them feel as if they're all together, even though they're not?

A: It can be very difficult, if not impossible, to seat all of your guests at the same table at a holiday dinner, so I like to allow ample time for mingling before and after the meal. Plan an hour for cocktails and appetizers before dinner, and then serve dessert buffet-style so guests can continue to socialize.

I rent round tables, each seating 10 to 12 guests, for gatherings in my home, and I always order plenty of extra chairs. Or you could opt for two 8-foot-long tables. I also seat my guests in a way that ensures interesting conversation. Couples should be separated, and you should take care to situate people near those they don't get to see very often.

Q: What is the proper way to dish out a souffle to guests?

A: Few things can match the drama of a perfectly browned, towering souffle threatening to collapse at any minute. There's not really a right or wrong way to serve this culinary wonder, aside from one unbreakable rule: Bring the souffle to the table straight from the oven before it deflates. Once the applause dies down, you can follow the advice in Julia Child's "The Way to Cook" for preventing the dessert from completely losing its puff:

Insert a serving fork and spoon, held upright, back to back, into the souffle's center, and then spread the utensils apart before serving. Or you can apply the commonly used method of simply taking a large serving spoon and serving portions with a turn of the wrist, as if you were scooping ice cream. Whichever approach you decide to use, make sure you reach the bottom of the souffle dish so some crust and some soft interior make it onto the spoon. Then, as elegantly as possible, lay the portion on its side on the plate.

Small, individual souffles may lack the towering presence of their larger counterparts, but they're still stunning — and require no special serving tricks.

Q: What's the best way to care for feather pillows?

A: Start with an ounce of prevention: Encase pillows in zippered protective covers. Launder the covers monthly, and fluff pillows daily to restore their loft. At least twice a year, machine wash pillows on the gentle cycle. (Dry-clean only if the casing fabric requires it.) Dissolve half the usual amount of mild liquid detergent in the water before adding the pillows, and wash two together to balance the load.

Do not use bleach, which can eat away at the feathers, or fabric softener; the fewer chemicals you add to the feathers, the better.

Place the pillows in a clothes dryer with a few tennis balls (to prevent the feathers from clumping), and let them tumble on the low setting until completely dry; this can take several hours. Check them every hour or so, squishing down to feel for residual moisture, which could cause mildew to form inside the pillows. If you detect moisture or clumping, shake the pillows out and continue drying.

Do not use dryer sheets.

Q: How can I weatherproof a leather or suede handbag?

A: I would have the bags professionally treated so they will be virtually stain-resistant and last as long as possible. Keep in mind that what also determines the life of a handbag is how you store it between uses. Hanging it from a hook is fine for the short term, but when you think it's going to be several weeks between uses, place it on a closet shelf. Stuff larger bags loosely with crumpled acid-free tissue paper to help them retain their shape.

Q: My baby shower will take place in early December, and I was hoping it could be wintry and elegant. I'd like to go with a white theme. Do you have any tips?

A: White is a perfect theme for winter and for celebrating a new member of the family. Creating a white motif is simple, and it can extend seamlessly from the decorations (balloons and streamers) to the food and favors. Plan a menu that has white foods such as cream cheese-cucumber sandwiches, pale crudités and dip, assorted cheeses, cookies with icing and coconut cupcakes. A lemon layer cake with snowy frosting can double as a centerpiece. Crisp white linens and classic ivory flatware convey a wintry effect and make a lovely backdrop for clusters of white and cream flowers.

I think a wonderful activity for any shower is to ask guests to bring their favorite children's book for the new mom. Then everyone can take turns reading aloud their favorite passages from stories they enjoyed as children.

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