Be proactive in planning your funeral

First we live, then we die. As I wrote in my last column, more of us are taking care of the living part — gaining more control over what happens to us in our last 25 years by planning for them — than ever before. I call it "aging deliberately," my column's new name.

It turns out we're failing to do the same for our deaths. Not the dying process, although that's important, but after we stop breathing. You know — we're dead.

My recent research into the so-called "death industry" — funerals, caskets, monuments, cremation and other services — reveals a fascinating part of our economy that few of us think about. But we should. Some of us are falling victim to expensive, highly questionable business practices because we're not planning ahead. Besides taxes, death is a certainty, so it's time to pay attention.

My background in consumer protection makes me a nag about getting people to become informed shoppers. Buying wisely — getting expert advice, reading contracts carefully and so forth — means we're likely to get the best prices and highest-quality goods and services.

Likewise, informed shoppers reward the better companies, driving the bad guys out of business. A healthy economy requires a certain number of us to be informed shoppers to keep the playing field level.

Well, we're dropping the ball on funerals. Just as most of us deny our aging, we also deny our dying, and fail to plan ahead.

"The funeral industry is unique in many ways," says John Eric Rolfstad, executive director of People's Memorial Association (PMA), a nonprofit funeral consumer organization in Seattle and the largest (more than 100,000 members) in the United States. "The first difference is pricing. Most consumer products vary in price by 5 to 10 percent, at the most 20 percent, depending on where you buy — Target, Costco, a mom-and-pop at the corner, and so forth."

But in funerals, he says, prices can vary as much as 300 to 400 percent. The association conducts a price survey of 170 funeral homes in Western and Central Washington every two years. In 2007, direct cremation prices range from $425 to $2,844, with an average of $1,492, for what is essentially the same commodity no matter where it's purchased, says Rolfstad.

The range for direct burials is $1,067 to $4,310, with an average of $2,200. A complete funeral service with embalming, viewing, services and casket averages $3,946. However, the range goes from $1,595 to $7,255, excluding cemetery costs.

Another unique factor is the vulnerability of funeral consumers. Family members arranging for a loved one's burial or cremation aren't exactly clearheaded, so they're susceptible to high-pressure sales tactics.

A third factor is competition. With approximately 21,000 funeral homes nationwide, there are (or were) three large players, says Joshua Slocum, executive director of Funeral Consumers Alliance, a national consortium of educational funeral nonprofits.

Service Corporation International is the largest funeral provider, owning about 1,400 homes. The Alderwoods Group was the second largest until SCI bought it, and Stewart Enterprise has about 330 funeral homes.

But funerals are local, and in many places, such as small towns, there were never many options. Today, because of a decade of mergers, there are increasingly fewer options even in urban areas. Large corporations now own many formerly family-owned funeral providers, although the family name remains on the sign out front.

PMA's experience is instructive. Founded in Seattle in 1939 (launching a national movement; there are now more than 100 funeral-planning groups in the nation), PMA helps people make sensible funeral decisions. For a lifetime fee of a whopping $25, members are helped to understand and plan for their final arrangements. It does this by referring members to funeral homes that PMA has agreements with to provide a variety of low-cost, dignified, pressure-free burial and cremation services.

(Disclosure: My parents and I are PMA members. When they died, my family received exceptional treatment, and the price of their cremation was half the rate normally charged by the very funeral home we used.)

Beginning two years ago, six Service Corporation International funeral homes in Western Washington canceled their contracts with PMA. PMA then contracted with 11 others owned by the Alderwoods Group. But last year, SCI bought out the Alderwoods' homes and raised their basic cremation price from $599 to $995 — a 65 percent increase.

As a result, PMA began the People's Memorial Funeral Cooperative, the first funeral cooperative in the nation in 50 years. Today, PMA has contracts with 15 funeral homes around the Puget Sound area and central Washington, and its funeral cooperative in Seattle has served more 300 members and nonmembers since this summer.

For more information about PMA or a copy of the 2007 price survey, go to www.peoplesmemorial.org or call 206-325-0489.

Most of us age accidentally, without planning or forethought. Aging Deliberately tells us how to age on purpose, with more control — deliberately. You can reach Liz Taylor at lizt@agingdeliberately.com or write to P.O. Box 11601, Bainbridge Island, WA 98110.