Eastside service is often lifesaver for families

Today, mother and son Jana and Adam Hawes of Bellevue make beautiful music together. Ten years ago, life was not as harmonious.

During his senior year of high school, Adam swallowed too many Tylenol. The response to the crisis saved not only Adam's life but his relationship with his family.

"He was at Overlake Hospital and they recommended Youth Eastside Services (YES)," Jana said. "In hindsight, I wished I could have hooked him up with YES when he was in junior high."

That was when Adam told his parents he was gay. Homosexuality conflicted with both the Haweses' religion. His mother and father ignored his revelation.

"We were Mormon," Jana said. "All I ever heard was the sin part of homosexuality. It was like he had become Darth Vader, and that's what was going through Adam's mind, that he was evil. We didn't know what to do."

At YES, counselors gave the Haweses books to read and encouraged Adam to attend a support-group meeting of bisexual, gay, lesbian and transgender youth, now called B-GLAD. That's just one of many support groups Youth Eastside Service provides.

YES, one of 13 nonprofits benefiting this year from The Seattle Times Fund for the Needy, serves as a lifeline for kids and families coping with challenges such as violence, abuse and emotional traumas. The agency offers mentoring services and school-based programs and culturally-based counseling and assistance for the increasing Eastside immigrant and refugee population. Offering the myriad programs costs more than $3 million annually.

"The Haweses are representative of families YES helps as they face potentially life-threatening challenges," said Kirk Laughlin, director of fund development and community relations.

For Adam Hawes, the weekly GLAD meetings provided a safe place where he could connect with other youth going through similar problems.

"I was at a low point in my life, a difficult time," he said. "I stopped going to high school. But at YES, I found a great group of peers, and I realized I wasn't the only one going through this. If you go long enough, you'll find your footing."

While he was gaining confidence, his mother gained insight.

"Some of the GLAD kids were homeless," she said. "Their parents had kicked them out because of their sexual orientation."

Instead, she and Adam's father took their two younger daughters to YES for a meeting so they could understand what was happening. It wasn't easy. Some people they knew, particularly at church, did not accept it. But each time Jana picked up Adam from his GLAD meeting, she could see the positive changes.

Adam went to college, and today he is a graduate student at Indiana University, working on a doctorate in music composition. Last week he and his partner, home for the holidays, prepared a gourmet meal for family and friends. His experiences a decade ago seem at least a lifetime ago.

"But I'm very grateful for what YES did," Adam said. "It showed me I wasn't alone."

Sherry Grindeland: 206-515-5633 or sgrindeland@seattletimes.com