Big-bang finale and "Big Love": This is why it's called premium cable

All you HBO subscribers — this is a TV week just for you.

Because as curious as I was about that new Tyler Perry sitcom "House of Payne," I can say only that it's painful viewing. Call me a Mad (Brown) Woman. Oprah and I will just have to disagree.

So on to HBO, and we'll start with the obvious: the series finale of "The Sopranos" (9 tonight). I'm as anxious as you about what will happen; there were no advance screeners of the episode, which is just as well. These last episodes have made all of us race home Sunday nights; never mind that we have On Demand and DVRs. As much as TV can be entirely intimate — watched in bed with spouse — it's a hoot to watch a show live and then deconstruct it the next morning over office cubicle walls.

And so, "The Sopranos": We might not know what's going to happen to Tony — last seen holed up in a safehouse with the mother of all guns (thank you, Bobby) in his lap — but we know something's got to happen. No ho-hum series ending for Tone and Carm, sipping limoncello, legs lolling in some lake. That theory's now as dead as Christopher.

Phil or Tony will come out on top (or maybe both will end up buried). A.J.'s unlikely to stop whimpering, so it might be up to Meadow to show the world she's got a spine (along with a brain). And never discount Carmela, throwing her watch at Tony one sec, crying the next at the thought of him being in danger. I'm thinking that whatever happens tonight, Carmela (Edie Falco) will again show viewers why she's such an acting powerhouse. Last week's penultimate episode had it all. It was brutal (the killings), funny (the nod to "Raging Bull"), tender (Bobby and his train) and tense (Bobby and his train). Melfi finally broke it off with Tony, tying up one of my favorite relationships in the show. And, well, if my relationship with Tony, who's been acting more like his sociopath self (snuffing Christopher) than his sentimental self (ducks) ends in gunfire tonight, it won't bother me one bit.

Because the show has already exceeded my expectations in these final weeks, and I can't stop thinking about the "West Side Story" soundtrack: Something's coming. I don't know. What it is. But it is going to be great.

Sticking with great, if not very good, I'm skipping over "John From Cincinnati" (a new, confounding series by David "Deadwood" Milch premiering at 10 tonight after "The Sopranos"). Although I'll keep watching and will holler if things take a better turn in the weeks ahead.

Instead, what should keep you tethered to your pay-cable subscription is the return of "Big Love" (now at 9 p.m. Mondays). I missed this show the first time around, so I'm now treating it as a wonderful find. Yes, it's that show about polygamy: one husband (Bill Paxton), three wives (Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloë Sevigny, Ginnifer Goodwin) and their seven kids. But it's an original, rich, superbly acted relationship drama. Unorthodox with that off-the-grid element fans of "The Riches" will like. And if you're in "Riches" withdrawal, this show will nicely fit in as Monday-evening appointment TV.

In the season opener, first wife Barb (Tripplehorn) is reeling from being exposed as a polygamist during a Mother of the Year public ceremony in last season's finale. So she's taken off, and a marriage wobbles. Says Sevigny's Nicki to Barb: "You can't just walk out on this marriage just because you're mad at Bill. You're throwing Marge and me out with the bathwater. How do you think that makes us feel?"

There's nothing quite like having two women glare at their husband — Just let her have her space, he says — because they really want their wife to come home.

A TV treat, to be sure.

TV tick-tock: Readers: E-mail me your nominations for shows worthy of a weekly recap, now that "24" is on hiatus.

Florangela Davila: 206-464-2916 or fdavila@seattletimes.com