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Originally published May 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM | Page modified May 22, 2007 at 2:00 AM

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The curse of the child stars: What happened to you, Screech?

It's not easy being Screech. Call it the Curse of Dustin Diamond. The actor embodied such an iconic nerd on the preteen fave "Saved by the...

The Washington Post

It's not easy being Screech.

Call it the Curse of Dustin Diamond. The actor embodied such an iconic nerd on the preteen fave "Saved by the Bell" that now, nearly two decades after the TV show debuted, you just know that people still yell at him: "Look, it's Screech!"

Given that kind of burden — perhaps only Jaleel "Urkel" White truly understands his pain — maybe we shouldn't be at all surprised that Diamond is the least likable of the eight celebrity contestants currently looking to shed pudge on VH1's "Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women."

VH1, of course, traffics in former child stars with its "Celebreality" programs. And these shows, which also include "The Surreal Life," can crush any good feelings we have for these performers. But Diamond's "Fit Club" antics are so despicable that it's hard even to hold on to warm-and-fuzzy nostalgia for that frizzy-haired dweeb who lusted after Lisa Turtle.

In the first four episodes of the show's fifth season, Diamond has been a tornado of negativity and immaturity. He threatens to quit the contest, storming off the set for optimum drama. And worse, he trashes a competitor, former "American Idol" contestant Kimberley Locke: "We've already established that Kim is a loser on another show," he says. "And I think she's going to have a problem losing weight because she is a big girl. And she will always be a big girl. She is a nobody."

Oh no, he didn't!

Diamond hasn't needed this show to tarnish his image (his sex tape last fall helped do that deed, though we tried to ignore that by plugging our ears and chanting, "La la la la la"). But even without existing Internet scandals, it's difficult to emerge from last-refuge "Celebreality" with one's dignity intact.

Where VH1 personalities fall on our fame continuum:

Washed Up

Tempestt Bledsoe, 33

Life after "The Cosby Show's" Vanessa Huxtable: Hosted a short-lived '90s talk show.

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VH1 career: Slacked off so much in her "Celebrity Fit Club 3" workouts that her team traded her, but she redeemed herself with an attitude adjustment.

Dustin Diamond, 30

Life after "Saved by the Bell's" Samuel "Screech" Powers: Made so little money as a stand-up comic that he sold T-shirts last year to help save his Wisconsin home from foreclosure.

Corey Feldman, 35

Life after such '80s films as "The Goonies": His 2002 album "Former Child Actor" sold a scant 300 copies, according to Nielsen SoundScan. During "The Surreal Life's" first season, Feldman was an intolerable, self-absorbed mess.

Tina Yothers, 34

Life after "Family Ties' " Jennifer Keaton: Played porn star Linda Lovelace in the stage show "Lovelace: The Musical." Served as a team captain on "Celebrity Fit Club 4," had a mini-tiff with singer Angie Stone.

Breakthrough moment: felt confident enough to walk the beach in a bathing suit.

Still afloat

Danny Bonaduce, 47

Life after "The Partridge Family's" Danny Partridge: Got a steady radio gig on "The Adam Carolla Show," but he has been a total train wreck on "Breaking Bonaduce," from 'roid and alcohol benders to suicide attempts to big-time marital woes.

Christopher Knight, 49

Life after "The Brady Bunch's" Peter Brady: Knight peddled exercise devices and hair-care products. On "The Surreal Life 4" and spinoff "My Fair Brady" (co-starring wife/model Adrianne Curry), Knight exposed a borderline-creepy relationship with "Brady" mom Florence Henderson.

Maureen McCormick, 50

Life after "The Brady Bunch's" Marcia Brady: Released a country album and had a brief role on the soap opera "Passions." She serves as mom to the "Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women" cast and coaxed Dustin Diamond into not quitting the show. Let him go, Marcia!

Tiffany, 35

Life after being an '80s teen recording artist: Posed for Playboy; set to release the album "Just Me" next month. No bad behavior yet on "Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women," but that could be because (ahem) someone is hogging the screen time.

Straddling the line

Jordan Knight, 37

Life after New Kids on the Block: Semi-comeback in 1999 with self-titled album and the single "Give It to You." Turned a tad dictatorial when "The Surreal Life 3" cast tried to record a pop song.

Gary Coleman, 39

Life after "Diff'rent Strokes' " Arnold Jackson: Nabbed about 2,000 votes more than a porn star in California's 2003 race for governor. In "The Surreal Life 2," Robert "Vanilla Ice" Van Winkle tried to bully Gary into saying "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" — Coleman justifiably throws a fit.

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

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