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Originally published Saturday, January 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM

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Commentary | Hey, Simon, your nasty act is sickening

So maybe Seattle has zero singing talent, but was it necessary for "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell to compare one contestant to a bush...

Seattle Times staff reporter

So maybe Seattle has zero singing talent, but was it necessary for "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell to compare one contestant to a bush baby?

America, is that what you want from your No. 1 show?

Sure, there's a time to be nasty. (Hey Paula Abdul, were you chatting with a cartoon cat or something? Because clearly something was happening last week when you were interviewed by Q13. Can you say "loon"?)

But calling a guy a bush baby because of his large eyes? And making fun of his friend Jonathan Jayne's weight? You're a bleep, Simon. Your double chin is starting to show. And what grown man wears his hair with a part down the middle?

I didn't bother tuning in last year when that soul-singing, silver-haired guy was on. And I wouldn't have tuned in this year if it weren't for the fact that "Idol" landed in Seattle in search of talent, which nudged me to watch Wednesday. (Truthfully, I found Dennis Miller on "The O'Reilly Factor" and then ABC's "Knights of Prosperity" a lot more entertaining as I flipped back and forth.)

But I caught the Cowell comment: "And you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes."

And the comment he made earlier to a woman telling her to go find "work at the port."

So, tell a woman to go be a hooker. Call a man a bush baby. Niiiice.

What either comment has to do with singing talent I don't know. It's Simon's shtick, and it works for him and maybe someone, his mother perhaps, thinks he's sweet, but kill me please.

I'll be one more voice in the maelstrom that's erupted over "Idol" and Simon and his cruelty, although I clearly don't know what America likes. You've kept this show a ratings juggernaut. An estimated 36.9 million people watched Wednesday; 37.3 million tuned in the previous night, Nielsen Media Research reports, making it the two biggest nights of prime-time TV in Fox history.

And this for a show that's in its sixth season. No doubt, all the promos taunting Seattle, with Cowell calling this city's talent pool horrendous, urged some people to tune in. Everyone loves a train wreck, and people humiliating themselves (with judges firing back) speaks to some sort of American gene.

But I'll take hours of nudity, nonstop F-bombs, plenty of fictional terrorist attacks over this sort of stupid assault.

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On Wednesday, two friends appeared on the Seattle episode. The first one drew the "bush baby" remark. The second, Jayne, was asked by Cowell if he had stolen (fat) judge Randy Jackson's trousers. Jayne, who, yes, is very overweight, then proceeded to sing "God Bless America."

Local guy Jim Duncan watched Wednesday because Jayne attends his church. What he saw, the Seattle mechanical engineer said, was "inhuman."

Molly Jester of Bellevue tuned in, as she has time and time before, having decided that "Idol" is good family entertainment for her and her two kids. Even her mom last year couldn't stop cheering on Taylor Hicks. "Idol," Jester said, crossed generations.

But not any more.

"So violent. So mean. And the other judges just sat around. Why would Fox air that?" she said. "We teach our children to be respectful of each other." No, she said, she doesn't plan on letting her children continue to watch.

I'll tune in because it's my job and maybe Paula will ditz out again, and also, there's that pair of local siblings to root on.

But honestly: The OJ interview would have been easier to stomach.

Information from the Associated Press is used in this report.

Florangela Davila: 206-464-2916 or fdavila@seattletimes.com

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

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