Leave it to Eddie

An actor from the days of black-and-white TV sued the Screen Actors Guild over undistributed foreign royalties. Guess who?

Hint: He was a cast member of "Leave It to Beaver." Of course, it has to be Eddie Haskell. Eddie of the "No thank you, Mrs. Cleaver. I really must be getting home. We're having squab this evening."

Ken Osmond's role connected with fans of the Beav when the original 234 episodes were broadcast, and with gazillions more when the show ran endlessly in syndication. The character was authentic and recognizable: that dorky friend of your older brother who was oily polite around your mom and then gave you a fat lip when she left the room.

Ward Cleaver knew the type and was never fooled for a moment.

Osmond's gripe is the guild has sat on millions of dollars that should have been distributed to him and the 30,000 others he sued on behalf of in a class-action suit. Duking it out in the courtroom is nothing knew to Eddie's real-life avatar.

Years ago, an industry star made a few X-rated movies under the nom de porn of Eddie Haskell. Osmond, who eventually retired from a career with the Los Angeles Police Department, was not amused. He sued for millions and the case wound up in the California Supreme Court.

The Beaver got sweet revenge for all those poundings. The high court declared the porn star's invocation a satirical act. All fakey, like that smarmy Eddie.