Here comes the judge

How would you rate Seattle, on a scale of one to 10?

Don't answer yet. This is no earthly grading scale. It was chiseled in stone by the finger of God. God's exam for us is the Ten Commandments. And Seattle is failing, argues a new book by a Mercer Island writer, David Klinghoffer.

It's true the Seattle area is one of the least-churched in America. We're less tied to churches and have the highest rate — 25 percent — who answer "none" to the question, "What is your religious tradition?"

Seattle's a yoga, not a church, town, writes Klinghoffer in "Shattered Tablets: Why We Ignore the Ten Commandments at Our Peril."

"Put it all together and you arrive at the conclusion that this green, dank and chilly corner of the country represents the steadily advancing prow of a resurgent pagan moral perspective in American culture."

Klinghoffer gazes into the city's soul and judges it sick. He never gives us a final score. But it's clear he finds Seattle morally degraded. The book suggests we fail to follow any of the Ten Commandments.

Which I think means we got a zero. On a scale of one to 10.

I'd say Klinghoffer's got it backward. What's striking about Seattle is how much we follow the rules, including God's commandments, even though we aren't animated by much actual belief in God.

Let's assume that Seattle fails the first four commandments (the ones about honoring God and not worshipping any other). I don't think it's true — plenty of folks of faith never go to church — but let's debate that another time.

But the last six? The ones designed to serve as guides for decent human behavior?

As cities go, we don't steal (No. 8) or murder (No. 6) much. We're one of the safest big cities in the U.S. Klinghoffer gets around this by lumping gambling into the "do not steal" chapter, and abortion and "do not resuscitate" orders into the murder chapter.

Thou shalt not bear false witness (No. 9)? He can't come up with much about Seattle lying. So he includes gossiping. Yet if ever there was a big-city culture more unmoved to dishing, more stolid in its "mind-your-business-I'll-mind-mine" attitude, I don't know it.

Adultery (No. 7)? This chapter begins with him visiting the Enumclaw farm where a man died having sex with a horse. Now that was sick.

It goes on to quote me, from a column I wrote about how odd I found it when Boeing fired its CEO, Harry Stonecipher, for having an affair. I said a company should be wary of meddling in the personal, legal acts of its employees. Klinghoffer wonders: Where's my outrage? I chose to leave that to Stonecipher's wife.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house (No. 10)? Guilty on that one, Seattle!

We're a "wayward city," Klinghoffer says, that has lost the moral will to solve its problems, such as crime at Third and Pine downtown.

"The point is, where you find vapid ideas about God, you will also find vapid ideas about morality," he says.

Here's a quiz. Do you think that sentence best describes a) this city, b) this column or c) his book?

Danny Westneat's column appears Wednesday and Sunday. Reach him at 206-464-2086 or dwestneat@seattletimes.com.