Need a hug? Some workplaces are becoming a good place to find one

Julie Malveaux could use a good hug.

She grew to enjoy the fond embrace — and occasional cheek kiss — with which clients and co-workers greeted her while at her former job for a public-relations firm in Miami.

"It felt weird at first. Then you realize it's just not that unusual," she said. "It was very clear that it was just a greeting or a goodbye ... just a friendly gesture."

The 36-year-old, now working as a media-affairs manager in Alexandria, Va., said physical affection between colleagues created a familial feel. She added the physical affection was more common among female co-workers.

"I do miss the touch stuff. I just think it makes for close teams," Malveaux said.

Decades ago, hugging between co-workers was unusual if not verboten. Today, physical affection can flourish in certain industries — dot-com, marketing and fashion, for instance — even as companies increasingly codify the rules of workplace touching.

"I think hugging in the workplace depends a lot on the culture of that specific workplace," said Patricia Mathews, founder of Workplace Solutions Consultants, a St. Louis-based consultancy. "It's truly a gray area. Some people love to be hugged. For others it's 'please don't touch me.' "

Mathews, a member of the Society for Human Resource Management's employee-relations panel, has been training workers about illegal harassment in the workplace for 15 years. Along with more casual dressing in some offices, she has seen increased hugging due in part to the proliferation of relaxed work environments populated by younger employees, such as those at some marketing firms.

"Hugging in those kinds of workplaces has become less of an issue. I see a more causal interaction, these employees socialize more outside of work," Mathews said.

She added that organizations in recent years have been doing a better job of bringing in employees that fit their culture — whether it's pro- or anti-hug.

Hugging isn't illegal in the workplace, but it isn't always welcome.

When it comes to physical behavior in the office that could lead to court action, there's no bright line between what's accepted and prohibited, noted Dianna Johnston, assistant legal counsel with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

"The only issue would be whether the nature of the touching or hugging is such that it threatened to become harassing," Johnston said. "To be considered unlawful, it would have to be unwelcome."

"It would have to be so severe or pervasive that a reasonable person in the same situation would feel offended," she said.

Since the late 1990s, companies have been trying to lay down rules for what constitutes inappropriate behavior and what doesn't. Companies that have such policies in place protect themselves from lawsuits that might stem from harassing behavior by their employees, Supreme Court decisions have found.

The emphasis on harassment policies, though, hasn't kept displays of physical affection from becoming common practice in certain industries. Hugging is also common among employees who have been working together for years, regardless of the culture of the industry. After all, many workers spend more time at the office than with their families. Plus, co-workers are likely to have common interests, so it's only natural for friendships to form.

"Sometimes people get comfortable with each other, and over time they become more comfortable and that may include a big hug," said T. Ray Bennett, vice president of human resources with American Bureau of Shipping.

ABS, which does business all over the world, has developed company intranet sites that offer information about local customs, including the appropriate way to greet folks when abroad.

Yet ABS doesn't encourage hugging or other intimate touches, said Bennett, another member of Society for Human Resource Management's employee-relations panel.

"Hugging is typically not necessary to get the job done, so it's not something we feel is necessary," he said. "We suggest that's its usually best to stay professional and stay away from that."