Management is a talent best learned by doing

Q: I've just been promoted and am realizing I don't get to do what I like anymore. My time is spent dealing with employee motivation, conflicts and performance issues. How do I get my hands back on the "real" work?

A: The "real" work of a manager is dealing with people. Unfortunately, most job ladders promote people who are highly technically competent without warning them they'll need expertise in human relations to succeed in their new positions.

Most of the newly minted managers I've coached over the past 27 years have felt overwhelmed and confused about their new responsibilities.

They no longer get to do the one thing they're really good at. They also feel they're suddenly expected to possess the wisdom of Socrates, the diplomacy of Henry Kissinger and the psychological insight of Freud.

Consider your new position a crash course combining conflict resolution, psychology and goal setting. Also be aware that smart people realize when they need help.

Don't just follow examples of other managers in your company. A lot of them may be making worse mistakes than yours.

There are plenty of courses, coaching and books available on managing people. Gravitate to the ones that don't spout lofty goals but stick to practical tools. On a good day, dealing with subordinates is like dealing with kids — annoying, rewarding and always educational.

Management is a talent you grow into by doing it. Nobody starts out feeling competent, but the best managers turn errors into lessons.

As you struggle, keep in mind the benefits of tenacity noted by Thomas Edison. His comment on his mistakes: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

The last word(s)

Q: I have two job offers and am having trouble deciding which one to take. The first is a job I know I'm good at but could be boring. The second, I haven't done before and I might fail.

A: Actress Mae West gave good career advice when she said: "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."

Daneen Skube, Ph.D., is an executive coach, trainer, therapist, speaker and author of "Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything" (Hay House, 2006). She can be reached at 1420 N.W. Gilman Blvd., No. 2845, Issaquah, WA 98027-7001; by e-mail at interpersonaledge@comcast.net; or at www.interpersonaledge.com.

Sorry, no personal replies. To read other Daneen Skube columns, go to www.seattletimes.com/daneenskube.