Sales pitch apes CEO Ballmer

If Microsoft and Virgin Mobile want their video-downloading service to take off, perhaps they should offer clips of the Monkey Boy impersonation that Sir Richard Branson did recently for Microsoft Chief Executive Steve Ballmer.

Branson put on the jaw-dropping show during Ballmer's keynote address at the 3GSM World Congress recently in Barcelona, Spain.

Ballmer was announcing a new partnership with Virgin to help the wireless carrier provide TV to subscribers.

Branson, Virgin's founder, appeared in a video. First, he gave accolades, saying it was fantastic to work with Microsoft to be the first to broadcast TV to cellphones in Europe. Then, he got in a jab by dancing around and saying he "loves this company," mimicking Ballmer's infamous Monkey Boy performance at a Microsoft sales rally a few years ago.

"Two people can play at that game," Branson said. "Cheers!"

Ballmer replied, almost under his breath: "No wonder I haven't seen that video before. Now I know why."

Rock 'n' road

Speaking of strange British downloads, you can now add the voice of Ozzy Osbourne to your vehicle's satellite-navigation system. Two versions are available: with profanity and with profanity bleeped out.

The singer's voice will say things like "In 400 meters you have reached your (bleep) destination" or "I've lost the (bleep) satellite" if your car loses its signal, according to the Ananova news service.

The downloads are available from an English company called Voice Skins. Ozzy is the company's bestseller, followed by his wife, Sharon. Clint Eastwood and Patrick Stewart are also in the top 10.

Microsoft's latest buzz-building effort is a mysterious, flashy Web site at OrigamiProject.com, a domain it registered in December.

The site teases visitors that they'll learn more March 2 and invites them to subscribe to an RSS feed that will apparently deliver weekly updates in the interim.

Cambridge University had a human-computer-interaction research project called the Origami Project in the late 1990s that explored the future of the paperless office.

Paul McNamara, an editor at Network World, speculated Microsoft's project is an "ultraportable lifestyle PC."

Microsoft doesn't make PCs, so perhaps it's a reference design to inspire computer makers?

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