Know-it-all driving you up the wall?

Q: One of my co-workers is never wrong, knows all and never admits mistakes. She drives me crazy! How can I knock her down a peg and get her to admit she's not God?

A: Your co-worker's self-esteem is already on the floor; that's why she fights so hard to be right.

You won't get anywhere hitting someone who's already down. Your best approach would be to knock her up a peg.

If you can find the maturity and compassion to simply grant her the intellectual high ground, she'll follow you anywhere and help you with anything.

Most Office-Know-It-Alls make everybody around them feel incompetent.

Most people don't realize they're simply picking up the way the Office-Know-It-All feels 24 hours a day.

Your best solution around these folks is to manage your own worries about your adequacy and not get into a game of "my brain is bigger than your brain."

Instead, acknowledge that your co-worker is brilliant, talented, good at specific tasks, etc., and focus on getting what you need done.

For instance, your co-worker might be bragging loudly about how all her reports were perfect, but your report was missing data. Don't get hooked into huffily explaining that she's not so perfect and your report was fine! Instead, validate that her reports are good and return to the task at hand.

It's ironic that we all go to work to get a job done but can be so easily sidetracked into ignoring the work while we get tangled up in our emotional reactions to others.

If you feel like biting your co-worker while she counts all the ways she's a god and you're merely mortal, that makes you normal.

If you can bite your tongue — instead of your co-worker — you'll find that being effective is far more rewarding than being right.

The last word(s)

Q: I dislike my job and have been offered a position with another company that sounds great.

However, they've stood me up twice, kept me waiting for an hour, and several people on the interview panel were rude. Should I take the job?

A: Not unless you'd enjoy going from the fire into the frying pan.

Daneen Skube, Ph.D., is an executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker. She can be reached at 1420 N.W. Gilman Blvd., No. 2845, Issaquah, WA 98027-7001; by e-mail at interpersonaledge@comcast.net; or at www.interpersonaledge.com. Sorry, no personal replies. To read other Daneen Skube columns, go to: www.seattletimes.com/daneenskube