Women, men use Internet differently

During the black news hole known as the year's end, a story emerged that at first blush seemed painfully obvious. As reported by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, men and women are now about even in Internet use.

My first reaction to this story — as it was reported in sound-bite fashion — was a resounding "duh." All the women I know have been using the Internet comfortably for several years. And if this weren't the case, why would the number of women greatly outnumber the men on online dating sites?

The data: 68 percent of the male adults surveyed said they use the Internet, compared with 66 percent of the women. The 2002 number showed a wider gap, 61 and 57 percent respectively. The biggest anomaly I've noticed is the reversal of age expectations. I've met quite a few thirtysomethings who avoid computers like the plague, while many seniors — like my 78-year-old mother — are quite active, although she still asks a lot of questions. (Despite this, the survey cites senior citizens as one group where women fall behind.)

Women might ask for help a bit more than men, but this doesn't really mean anything as men are genetically prevented from asking for directions. So the idea that women ask more because they know less doesn't really fly.

The survey cites some gender differences. Men are more avid consumers of online information than women. They look for information on a wider variety of topics and issues than women and are more likely to gather material for their hobbies, read online for pleasure, take informal classes, participate in sports fantasy leagues, download music and videos, remix files and listen to radio.

Women, on the other hand, are more enthusiastic online communicators, using e-mail to write friends and family about a variety of topics: sharing news, planning events and forwarding jokes (although my experience is the most unrepentant and unfunny joke senders are men). Women use e-mail to nurture relationships and touch upon a variety of topics. They use it to stay in touch with friends and claim that it has brought them in closer touch with their families.

Presumably, these women are e-mailing their female relatives, while their sons, brothers and uncles are in the den playing fantasy golf. This pretty much explains the dating-site disparity. On a personal level, it also suggests that my authorship of an e-mail column since 1999 means that I am in close touch with my feminine side.

The findings that women are more revealing than men in their e-mail chatter reflects another common belief, that they are generally more open about their feelings in the first place. This also supports something I've believed for some time: Men fiddle with technology for its own sake, impressed by bells, whistles and bright lights. Women won't use any new process until it's clear how it will benefit their lives.

It's easy to find exceptions to any of these rules, perhaps inside your own circle of friends. That's not the point. A report that makes behavioral assertions within the proximity of your own life stimulates dialogue. And I'd rather chat about e-mail gender differences than hear another diatribe about Iraq or Brad Pitt's adoption of Angelina Jolie's kids.

To read a summary or to download the entire report go to www.pewinternet.org.

If you have questions or suggestions for Charles Bermant, you can contact him by e-mail at cbermant@seattletimes.com. Type Inbox in the subject field. More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists.