Seattle author is a Goth ambassador

Jillian Venters counsels her readers that Goth is a lifestyle, not just a casual costume. And she practices what she preaches: rather than give up her dark Victorian wardrobe during the recent heat wave, the "Lady of the Manners" tucked ice packs into her corset.

Venters is a Seattle resident and the author of "Gothic Charm School," a new book based on the Web site where she's dished advice for years to both those in the shadowy subculture and those who would like to understand it.

The book — featuring whimsical illustrations by Venters' artist husband, Pete — is an explanation of the Goth culture, including its origins and its variants, of which there are many. Venters, for example, is a Victorian Goth. There are also cyber Goths, perky Goths and industrial Goths. She is speaking at a Gothic Lolita doll convention in Bellevue this weekend.

Venters was always interested in (to quote from the book) "the gloom-shrouded and spooky side of life," but, because Goths seemed so standoffish and unwelcoming when she was a teenager, she didn't really join the subculture until college, when she found more accepting Goth friends. That experience helped spark her interest in Goth etiquette.

Venters hopes to build a bridge over stereotypes that separate Goths and regular folks. "I just want to see people get out of their little boxes," she said in an interview.

Normally, Seattle is a good place for a lifestyle incorporating black clothing, light skin and a love for all things dark. That's not just because of the weather. The live-and-let-live city has a diverse music and club scene, plenty of bookstores and thrift shops, and industries without a strict dress code. That includes software, Venters' day job.

She knows many see Goths as a clique of snooty oddballs with an un-holier-than-thou demeanor. But that chilly shell is less a reflection of how Goths see themselves than a defense mechanism.

"They do tend to adopt a superior attitude, just because it's a good shield to defend yourself," Venters said. "So when someone yells, 'Hey, Morticia! It's not Halloween!' you can just act like you're above it all."

She encourages Goths and non-Goths to approach each other — politely. Goths shouldn't act unduly aloof, but their non-Gothic counterparts don't help relations when they stare, make rude comments or even grab a Goth's ruffled skirt, velvet jacket or tinted hair (this happens surprisingly often).

Venters advises parents of Goth-inclined kids to talk to them, as her parents did — and not to assume their kids are depressed if they adopt eyeliner and skull jewelry.

In reality, Venters says, Goths are not particularly sullen. Yes, they embrace life's darker side. "Part of Goth is about accepting the knowledge that the world is not always a happy place," she said.

But they also have a lot of fun. "Goths love bombast. We love spectacle and over-the-top things," she says. "We're all dressing up like we've just escaped from a Victorian horror novel or 'The Matrix.' "