So how do you really feel about Colin Farrell?

Colin Farrell is a heartbreaker, just not in the way you think.

Every time his Irish mug appears on a screen, he disappoints repeatedly.

Colin is all man, no actor. He's eye candy — a male Pamela Anderson, living off his good looks, chest and bad hair. This guy should be a porn star, not a movie star.

It's about time we put this third-rate actor in his place. If he hasn't fulfilled his promise as an A-lister by now, then it's not going to happen.

This guy can't act. Audiences must stop paying to see his wretched movies. Critics must stop reviewing his flicks.

The evidence is damning: "Hart's War." "Phone Booth." "S.W.A.T." "Daredevil." "Alexander." "The New World." And yes, "Miami Vice."

The other night I Netflixed "The New World." And there, inside my home, my sanctuary, was Colin, frolicking with a nubile Pocahontas. He spoke in this bizarre brogue, babbling like a drunken Mel Gibson.

"Love, shall we deny it when it visits us? Shall we not take what we are given?"

Much of the time, Colin went without shirt, making Pocahontas his spoil. He had no presence. He has one facial expression: blank.

I should have known Colin portraying the rugged Capt. John Smith was gonna be a bust. His role in "Alexander" ranked as one of the most odious in his short career. Colin rides roughshod over countries, Angelina Jolie and a male servant among others.

If "S.W.A.T" and "Phone Booth" represent his nadir, "Daredevil" is something worse. The baldheaded Colin with a bulls-eye imprinted on his forehead plays a psychopath hired to kill Ben Affleck, who plays a less-than-boring Daredevil.

When these two guys collide, it's like two electrons trying to get together.

I always held out for Colin. Why? Because Hollywood said he was the next big thing. Vanity Fair put him on its cover for God's sake. The establishment had spoken emphatically. How could Hollywood be so wrong?

I thought "Miami Vice" would finally prove his star had luster. I thought this was his moment — like Tom Cruise in "Collateral."

I had reason to believe: The Wall Street Journal teased me with this headline: "Though Plot Often Baffles, Farrell Carries Film With Authority."

But in "Miami Vice" his lines sag worse than a Shanghai soup dumpling. Once again, we witness him naked, gorging on another beautiful woman. Again, Hollywood is playing to his only strength: the bedroom scene.

To be fair, Colin, 30, is not without one decent movie. In it, he gives an unscripted performance worthy of an award — a pornography award. It's called, "The Original Colin Farrell Sex tape."

While romping with a Playmate, Colin delivers one of the most memorable lines in the history of homemade porn.

In a heartfelt declaration sure to echo throughout countless bedrooms (I feel for women everywhere), Colin summons a McDonald's moment and declares he could have his Bunny for "breakfast, lunch and dinner."

And a Dirk Diggler was born.