Howard Stern drops the (F) bomb in satellite radio debut

Howard Stern had made a rule that he'd avoid cursing on his new Sirius satellite radio show, which premiered today. But fans holding their breath for the return of the world's pre-eminent shock jock didn't have to wait long for things to turn blue.

First expletive: 10 minutes into the show.

First F-bomb: 22 minutes.

It became a free-for-all after that in the 5-1/4-hour, commercial-free show, which contained a few disappointments but still had the liberating feel of a 21st-century "Lady Chatterly's Lover" — if D.H. Lawrence had been into flatulence.

Stern had ended his 25-year career in regular "terrestrial" radio last month, after mounting — that is, increasing frustration with censorship. He had already been the record-holder for fines from the Federal Communications Commission, and the industry's climate of paranoia following Janet Jackson's Super Bowl breast exposure in 2003 had resulted in Stern's syndicated show being riddled with blank patches and dropped from six stations.

Today's show aired live at 3 a.m. from New York on channel Howard 100 and at 6 a.m. on Howard 101, and began with a farted version of "Thus Spake Zarathustra." But technical troubles in Stern's new studio made for an awkward stumble out of the gate.

Likewise, a couple of prehyped items wound up flatlining. Stern had promised to reveal if he had married his girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky, on their recent vacation in Mexico. Answer: Yes. Then: No, just fooling. They didn't get married. So what, then? Stern had also talked up shocking revelations about himself and his crew — the tamest of which involved one of them getting caught cheating on his wife and another's cosmetic surgery. But the answers to who did what won't be revealed until next Monday.

One welcome surprise was the addition of George Takei from the original "Star Trek" to the Stern family as the new announcer. Takei had been a listener favorite and the target of an infamous prank call on the old show. Today, the 68-year-old actor, recently out of the closet, proved great fodder as Stern and crew — not surprisingly — probed him explicitly about his sexual history and preferences.

The funniest bit came courtesy of unctuous "The Insider" host Pat O'Brien: Stern played O'Brien's widely covered "hookers and coke" voicemail, uncensored and set to pop music from artists including Stevie Wonder. "I just called to say ... [expletive] ..."

The show included a news conference with numerous reporters from major media outfits. Asked amid the cavalcade of raunch what he did find offensive, Stern said it was nothing to do with natural bodily functions. He reeled off a list that included aspects of the war in Iraq, churches that cover for child-molesting priests and "when the religious right acts like the Taliban."

Mark Rahner: 206-464-8259 or mrahner@seattletimes.com